In October, I fell on a hike in Maine & smashed my left knee against a rock.
And ever since then, every yoga class I teach is a brief battle with my ego.
It was direct hit on the edge of the rock - not a gentle hit and certainly not graceful. On & off through October, I wore a neoprene & velcro knee support. There was a lot of ice and a lot of rest. Some weeks ago, out of caution & concern, my surgeon upgraded the support to a more obvious (8-strap!) metal hinge brace while we wait for a current MRI.
Showing up to teach with a physical injury, I wish I could simultaneously wear a shirt that says "I was injured in a hiking accident - not doing yoga! I'm still capable of guiding a safe yoga practice!"
Why is it that, as a teacher, I feel the need to point out that my injury was not a result of yoga? As if I should never experience an injury in my own practice? Certainly I'm as human as anyone else...and therefore susceptible to the same strains, pains, falls, & general human errors.
My ego whispers to me: you should be a good example.
My rational brain whispers back: I am a good example.
I've had to listen to my body, modify like crazy, & take a step (a lot of steps) back from demoing in class. It's quite honestly annoying & frustrating. But I've been truthfully acknowledging where I'm at in the present moment - which is exactly what I ask of my students.
Ultimately, despite what my ego tries to tell me, teachers do not need to be billboards of The Perfect Yoga Practice. I don't need a shirt that declares my injury origin & I don't need to listen to my ego that suggests otherwise.
Collectively, we're all trying to truthfully acknowledge our present experience. And at the present moment, mine happens to be with stiffness, aches, & some unhappy ligaments. That's okay.
I'm happy when my students show up authentically & show their humanity.
As it turns out, I'm allowed to do the same.